Funny One Liners (1) A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. — Emo Philips 43% of all statistics are worthless. 7/5th of all people do not understand fractions. 99% of lawyers are giving the rest a bad name. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. — Robert Frost A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep. Be naughty – save santa the trip. Better late than... really late. Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire. Crime doesn’t pay… does that mean my job is a crime? Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead. Drugs cause amnesia and other things I can’t remember. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Everyone leaves the world a little better – some by leaving.
