In the world of male-female relationships, one single rule applies: · Make the woman happy · Do something she likes and you get points. · Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. · You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played ! SIMPLE DUTIES You go out to buy her what she wants (0 points) In the rain (+8) But return with beer too (-15) HER PROTECTOR You check out a suspicious noise at night (0) You check out the suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0) You check out the suspicious noise and it is something (+5) You pummel it with a baseball bat (+10) It's her cat (-50) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side the entire party (0) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-20) Named Heather (-50) Who is a dancer (-120) And has breast implants (-380) HER BIRTHDAY OR YOUR ANNIVERSARY You give her a dozen roses and a box of chocolates (0) You take her out to dinner (0) You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3) Okay, it's a sports bar (-10) And it's all-you-can-eat night (-30) It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-50) A NIGHT OUT You take her to a movie (0) You take her to a movie she likes (0) You take her to a movie you hate (+10) You take her to a movie you like (-20) It's called 'Death Cop 2 - Revenge' (-50) You lied that it was a foreign film about romantic relationships, orphans or animals (-150) HER RELATIVES She says "My Mother/Father/Sister/Brother is coming to stay with us for a week." You say "Fantastic, I'm really looking forward to it!" (0) You say anything else (-100) YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30) You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-500) THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what) You immediately reply "Of course not!" (0) You hesitate in responding (-10) You reply, "Uh..." (-20) You reply, "Where?" (-75) Any other response (-200) COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about something, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0) You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) You listen for over 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100) She realizes you have fallen asleep (-400)
