پاسخ : Short Storie Canadian Joke A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?" "Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave. "Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade!"
پاسخ : Short Storie A turtle family went on a picnic A turtle family went on a picnic… The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outings. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found it. For about six months they cleaned up the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left. Three years passed, and the little turtle had not returned. Five years... six years. Then in the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and began to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "SEE? I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt." The Moral Is: Some of us waste our lives waiting for people to live up to our expectations of them. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.
پاسخ : Short Storie Doctor Comparison An English doctor says ‘Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.’ A German doctor says ‘That is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks. A Russian doctor says ‘In my country, medicine is so far progressed that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.’ The Texas doctor, not to be outdone, says ‘You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brains, out from Texas, put him in the White House for eight years, and now half the country is looking for work.’
پاسخ : Short Storie A Call From Hell A British, an American and an Iranian died and all went to hell. The british said: "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there." He called and talked for about 5 minutes. Then he said: "Well, devil. How much do I owe you for the phone call?" The devil goes: "Five million dollars." "Five million dollars?!" The British made him a cheque and went to sit back on his chair. The American was so jealous, he starts screaming: "Me too, I want to call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing, too..." He called the US and talked for about 10 minutes. And then he said: "Well, devil. How much do I owe you for the phone call?" The devil goes: "Ten million dollars." "Ten million dollars?!" He made him a cheque and went to sit back on his Chair. The Iranian was extremely jealous too. He starts screaming and Screaming: "I want to call Iran, too. I want to see how everybody is doing there, too. I wanna talk to everybody." He called Iran and he talked for about twenty hours, He was talking and talking and talking. Then he said: "Well, devil. How much do I owe you for the phone call? The devil goes: "One dollar." "ONLY ONE DOLLAR??!" The devil goes: "Yes, well... from hell to hell, it's local!!!
پاسخ : Short Storie Poor Pope About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave Rome. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave. The Jews realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle aged man named Moishe to represent them. Moishe asked for one addition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed. The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay." An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?" Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe. "What happened?" they asked. "Well," said Moishe, "First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here." "Yes, yes,.. and then???" asked the crowd. "I don't know," said Moishe, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine."
پاسخ : Short Storie Looking for a job in the police department A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions.... Officer: What's 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm... 4! Officer: What's the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm... 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow. The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"
پاسخ : Short Storie Funny SMS THIS IS INCREDIBLE... Read all the Numbers... Slowly and in Order!! Be Careful not to MISS ANY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 ... ... ... ... ... TOMORROW I WILL SEND YOU THE ABC's
پاسخ : Short Storie Marriage Joke Wife: You always carry my photo in your briefcase to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
پاسخ : Short Storie You've been programming too long when... When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...". When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits. When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for omitting the else clause. When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page. When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets" When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number. When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want. When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one. When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal. When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.
پاسخ : Short Storie Her Age Harold's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asked, "Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Harold replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. "Hey, wait a minute!" Harold interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet."
